Sakamoto Ryuichi - Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence (Live)

Leap Of Love ... Do You Have The Faith?

When I watched the trailer on the TV, I thought that I must watch the film. Yes. I have a weakness for local production stories, except anything by Mr Jack Neo because I cannot detact that humor he was trying to create except that movie, MONEY NOT ENOUGH. I think that was good and I think in was his production, he did not really 'go overboard' to create an awareness among Singaporeans about how important money is and how money can change a person's outlook of life.

Anyway, I watched the film, adapted by Ms Catherine Lim's infamous books, The Leap Of Love which the film is called THE LEAP YEARS. I found it a little familiar when I watched the show, I should have known better because I have that book which I stored in a box. I read it some time back but I just could not recall. But you know what, the first thing that attracted me to the story was not the story itself, the TV trailer played a fantastic piece of score by a famous Japanese musician, Sakamoto Ryuichi. The piece is called: Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. I think many of you will know this piece of music when you hear it as I believe that it has been used in some other films before. So I should say, a good piece of music does great deal to a film. It could bring out the height of a story and create a rush in our emotion. And a perfect combination will just blow you away. Well, at least it does for me.

I went for a Japanese cruisine after the film with my girlfriend. It has been a long time since I ate ramen. So we tried at RAMEN TEN, a halal Japanese restuarant. Not bad to say, but the food is a little salty for my taste. I had Oyaku Chicken Ramen while my girlfriend had the spicy one that was really hot but not oily. I find that Japanese spicy food are not very oily, not like our local way of cooking curry stuff.

The next show I want to watch is THE KITE RUNNER. I think it will be still on till next week. I hope I can find time today to watch it or maybe on Tuesday evening. I will be back to update soon.

A Procrastinated Post

Its already February 2008. I have not been updating my blog here and I always feel that I want to. So many events for the past couple of months. Ever since I started studying, life is a little different. Can you imagine that I have not been in touch with books and assignments for more than ten years? And now, Im slogging my ass off, trying to balance, work life, study life, family life and finding time for leisures. Books, I am talking about text books! And there is going to be examinations. I was freaking out when I read through the unit guide of my study. Before the lesson started, I already have four assignments on hand to be due within three months. Well, Im wondering if that is bad or what?!

I just handed in my first assignment yesterday. Now I am starting the second one which is due next week! I am still working on which theorist should I comment about. I like Freud. The majority of the class is writing on Vygotsky. I have to decide soon. Am I smart enough to write up 2 theorists then?! Not a waste of time if I have the time. Afterall it is good learning and that can be pretty arguementative because their theories are totally conflicting. Readers who are wondering what I am talking about, well, they were psychologists and I am supposed to choose one of a few theorists that we studied to comment and argue base on our current context.

Anyway, I have joined the inpatient team about three weeks. Things seem pretty alright for now. The workload is slowly increasing. I guess my other colleagues are giving me time to adjust and to understand the workflow of inpatient work. I feel that it may not be as hectic as working with the outpatient team, but seeing inpatient cases can be more intensive and mind boggling 'cos I am afriad of ruling out the right things and saying the wrong things. I guess I have to set myself a guide of working out the flow smoothly. How political can it be? I have no idea. I am careful not to step on anyone's toes. People skills are just as important. But I think when seeing and attending those sick patients in the wards, we really need a lot of empathy and not to be judgemental. And the worst of all, giving solutions. I know, they are just waiting for it. Or they are finding alternatives.

I want to go on endlessly. But I have to find some sleep. I have been told that I was talking in my sleep last night, telling someone that I will go and see later... something like that... Is that implying something? I am tired now. I still have not update my journal. Those entries are part of my assignments. I will continue tomorrow.

Another One That I Will Miss

My-ex boss, Mrs Palakrishnan

Yesterday was my boss's farewell party. Hmmm... Now should be ex-boss. I could not make it there as I have some family matters to attend. I thought I would never see her again since her last day at work was 27th Dec 07. Luckily she came back to the office in the evening and I talked to her for a short while. She was busy and many of my colleagues would love to get her attention as well. I asked for a tight hug and it was granted. She always gives me a motherly feeling and the way she speaks is so gentle. The first hug she gave me was at Granny's wake. I broke down immediately. This time I controlled my tears 'cos I also did not want to ruin her make-up as I saw her eyes were already getting teary. Well, Im sure she had loads of tears flowing that evening. I wish her all the best and be in pink of health in years to come. I will miss you, Mrs Palakrishnan.

The One That I Miss

DO YOU KNOW WHO?

Its my beloved granny who passed on in Oct 07. It should be on 28 Oct 2007, 1.20pm to be exact, at Tan Tock Seng Hospital in the ICU ward. She died of a massive heart attack due to old age. She was 86 years old.

The last time I saw her alive and kicking was a week before she passed away. I was playing a fool with her as she was demented. I remembered I even trimmed her finger nails for her. She would always remind not to trim too short for her pinky nails 'cos it would symbolise good wealth if the nail is long. She behaved just like a child around me. And she could get along with children very well like my nephew and niece as well as adults who are funny and clowny like my hubby. She hated confinement. She hated when she was bored. That would be the time she started to get grumpy and scolding people for no reasons. That was why I sent her to SWAMI Dementia Day Centre about twice to thrice a week. She was happy there and she hoped she could stay there. Of course I could not afford to do that!


I know she died a happy woman. She never groaned while she was in the bed. She was already in a state of coma when the doctors told my family to prepare for the worst which could be anytime. There was no point of her to go under the knife to save her as the doctors said that it would definitely cost her life immediately. It would be better to keep the body intact. And let her go peacefully. I broke down when I went into the Operating Theatre. I saw her face with the respiratory tube insert into her mouth to help her to breathe. She was petite and her small body curled up sideway as she was shivering 'cos the theatre was so cold. I just could not help not stopping my tears from coming down. I knew that I would be losing her anytime soon.


My family rushed to and from the hospital a couple of times within 24 hours. We thought that her condition was stablised but it did not seemed so. So while my aunt and sister were there, she passed away. My dad, brother, his girlfriend, hubby and I were on the way after the nurse called us and informed that she really would not be able to make it that last time. When we got there, she was already gone and we were a few minutes late. I weeped. All of us weeped. I informed some relatives and my colleagues. I was too tired to relate more 'cos I had more important things to settle. And Im still grateful to my colleague, Tzer Wee who helped to recommend a very nice funeral services provider.

Granny's Wake

Me at Granny's Wake

Funeral Ritual for Granny

It was simple and a funeral that was within my family's budget. Afterall how grand do we have to make it to be for a funeral? We should show our concern, love and respect when one is alive, not when the person is dead. What is the point of trying to show off when the most important thing for the dead is to say prayers. And this should be continue even after the funeral, everyday, everytime and not just for an occasion.


Oh Granny, I really miss you very much. I am still grieving although I have to be strong. And I really want you to be happy!

A Long Time And A Motivating Post !!!

I almost forgot about this blog. No one bugs me to update. I guess my friends have given up on me in a way 'cos they know Im have been super-duper busy. Whenever I read my friends' blog in blogspot, I know I have this here which I have been procastinating to update. Dont ask me why. I have so many reasons to tell you. Not excuses! They are reasons! See the difference!

Firstly, I am happy to have get my studies started. Although it was just a simple certification for basic counselling, I am glad to have completed it at 3 months' time. And leading to the next will be my diploma in counselling. That will be my year 2008 main mission, or rather resolution. I have to find myself some inspiration and motivation to complete this course. I did not ask my company to sponsor me this time. I am not sure if I can get it anyway and I do not want to waste my time waiting for company's decision. I have no time to wait as the closing date for January 2008 intake was in October 2007. It is a year diploma course which then lead to a degree. Seriously I will want to have my paperchase done and get over with. And it is true that with a good and higher qualification, at some point of your life, it is an essential part to make certain decision. Although we say that experience proves to be even better, how about experiences that come together with papers? It is more secure. Definitely. So I need to find motivational people to hang out with! Hahahhahah... I know there are many of them in my company. And since a few of my classmates are also taking up the diploma course, they are even happier to have study buddies, with someone we are familiar, things can work out better! And keep ourselves intact and MOTIVATED !!!

Anyway, I will try, alright, to keep this blog update. There are still many things to be mentioned. Certain part of my life changed. With someone gone forever, and I missed her like crazy. Right, grieving is a matter of time to take to slowly be resolved. I will tell more in the next blog. Maybe later!

Lower Pierce Walk

Its been a long time since we walk that walk at the Lower Pierce Reservoir. Such nice traqualilty and the chippings of the early birds. We had a badminton game earlier and decided to go for a stroll at the reservoir to catch some sunshine.

Me and Hubby !

I have not got up so early on a Sunday morning for a long time. I should be sleeping early everyday. No matter its on a working weekday or an weekend. Enough sleep is important to our brain cells and also healthy to our skin. And getting enough sunshine, will do good too! Its Vitamin C! Hmmm... Im feeling really great today. Hardly do I get such feeling on a Sunday. I think its a good strategy to rise early and do a good workout to sweat. Its about 1pm now. Time to go visit Daddy and Granny. Im learning to live healthily!

Out Of My Comfort Zone

I was shocked.

I was dumbfolded.

I could not believed what I had read from the email that boss had sent.
I thought boss make a mistake typing the wrong name! One of my best colleagues was leaving. I wanted to cry. I wanted to give him a punch. I wanted to give him a hug. I thought I am going to lose a friend. That was really sad. Sad and I refused to buy him a farewell gift.

We had a department farewell tea party for him. He could not bear to leave us but yet he had chosen to do it. Its his choice. Its his career path. He should know what he is happy with and good at. I just hope he would have a more fulfilled career.

I need time to get used to his absence.

The Revenge Of A Theatre Lover I

I have been spending quite a lot lately on theatre works and musical plays. Going to the movies put aside. Im not so keen unless its about some non-mainstream films. Probably international productions from Asia, Middle East or Europe. Kind of tired with Hollywood or Bollywood.





I missed the International Film Festival this year. Too caught up with many things running and timing was not very good. A colleague told me that most of the tickets were selling well and some sold out. I realise local film productions are not doing that bad. On local channel, The Art Central, there has been a release of local films and short stories. One recent one titled "Do Not Disturb".

Directed by Kelvin Tong, remembering the same director of horro flick, "The Maid". Created by our local infamous actress and prolific producer, Tan Kheng Hua. Eight stories comprising eight different couples of what they would be doing behind the closed door of a budget love hotel. Sounds sleazy but it is really not. And Im really surprised that how the authority allowed this to pass. Sadly, another local film, "Solo", failed by three cuts and therefore needed to be withdrawn from the International Film Festival showcase. I believe that it has something to do with homosexuality and how it is still a social stigma. That would definitely be another episode to reprise.


Check out:
http://www.artscentral.sg/index.htm
http://www.artscentral.sg/thismonth/Do%20Not%20Disturb/index.htm

More And More ... Pinkeye Attacks !!!

Since I have contacted the Pinkeye, also known as Conjuctivitis, I have been given three days medical leaves to rest at home. Not allowed to go out as advised by the doctor, the best is stay indoor to rest or do some indoor activites, at home. What choice do I get? I hope my colleagues would not be cursing me under their nose. Its already quite sad to be shortage of people around in the office and now my absence, not very motivating isnt it?

There are so many kinds of bacteria in the air and being unlucky when one got struck by it and the bacteria happily landed on your eye. Itchiness, irritation and pricky, suddenly the eye turned red and you can see a bloodshot one. Horrifying. Misery.

My Miserable Look !!!

I guess it all happened when I was at CDC (Communicable Disease Centre) last Saturday for a workshop on Personality Disorders. I spent the whole day there and nothing much to my eye but only it became teary at almost the end of the session. Its quite normal for my case when I stared at an object for too long. And I was not day-dreaming alright! Simply too engrossed with the interesting topics that the therapist had mentioned.

Sunday past with a little irritation which I appiled some eye lotion. And came Monday, it became more obvious and I had to see my company doctor after work. Since the next day was Labour Day, no work, the doctor did not give me any medical leave. Wednesday, no improvement at all. I went back to the company doctor again and he said that I needed about two weeks to recover! Oh Gosh! I started barginning and was ticked off. He said that unless I could guarantee that none of my colleagues would come in and see him for the same condition, as I would be the culprit! So I was given a three-day rest and I am here, trying to update my blog with all events that happened or going to be ... !!!

A Trip To Somewhere

The Last Trip Was In April 2007 !!! ... Maybe One More Coming Soon ...

Honestly, I do not care who is reading this but I do not enjoy trips to Malacca anymore. Maybe my mother-in-law could be reading this, or any members of in-laws. Its too monotonous. A pity not that I could not drive or I would be the one appointed to the task! A pity yes that my hubby has to do the job since he is the only person around in the household now that is able to. So many of my friends have been urging me to take up driving. And new friends were taken aback when I said that I could not drive at all and never in my life ever started a car engine!

Oh well, I love road trips. Be it to anywhere. I do not mind as long as I am not the one who drive. Thats the only reason left that I would tag along to Malacca. So whats wrong with it? Im tired of dramas and impatience await. There is always a cause of a trip there. I dont mind if a trip is going to be relaxing and maybe to meet some friends or happy relatives. For me, its a no-friends trip and always unhappy relatives to face. I have to pretend that nothing happened but all are too obvious not to hide. Being a daughter-in-law, I shared my views on certain matters. But again, who am I here to ground those rules.

On a positive note, I tried to make the trip fun. I enjoyed all the food available. Watched the movies I had rented. Took as many pictures as I love myself to be. Hey, Im not being narcissistic alright! Needed to turn a boring trip funny. Laughed at myself and hubby. But just hope hubby will understand. I try to too. We need emotional support whenever concerns of such arise!

I believe, we still have many trips like this to go ... ... ...

No Time! No Time!

So this is what happened. After so many months of absence, and my friends' constant nagging of when I would be updating my blog, I finally tried. Oh please, Im not being forced to do it, I realised too that its time for an update.

What has been going on with my life, my daily routine?

First of all, my family. My Filipina maid has decided to call it quits this time. After she had come back from her short holidays, she told me that she decided to change her industry of work. She is trained in the F&B industry back home and would love to explore more than just being a domestic worker. Also, taking care of my granny can be quiet stressful as she is demented. So I was kind of worrying for a few months prior to her departure. Also through a kind friend, she is actually my mother-in-law's maid, who introduced another maid to me, she is from Indonesia. I had bad experience with Indonesian maids. Well, I met up with her and brought her to meet my granny who seemed to like her very much. So I decided to take a risk. Furthermore, she had worked in Hong Kong for a couple of years before coming to Singapore, so she could speak a bit of dialects and Mandarin, most importantly, she could communicate with my granny! So about two weeks ago, she joined my family.

Dad's 67th Birthday Cake !!!

We also celebrated my Dad's 67th birthday, on 16 April. It did not occurred to me that my Dad is already that old! He has been an active person and very independent. Although he suffered two strokes before, Im grateful that he has been able to get back to his feet and started to walk. His only wish is to grow old gracefully without being a burden to any famliy members. But I think his memory maybe failing him sooner. He is getting forgetful these days and I pray that he would not become like my granny.

Apart from these two significance events that happened, all have been peaceful and everyday passes like no one ever noticed. I believed that there might be changes soon in the household. I have a feeling that my brother maybe getting married soon. This would be another episode to talk about.

Happy Social Workers' Day

The first and latest. Social Workers' Day.

We have all sort of days to remember by.
Teacher's day, Bosses' Day, Secretary's Day, Nurses' Day, etc.
And now, we have our Social Workers' Day.

A day to remember the tribute of these people to our society and the hard work they had put in and hearts they had touched. The patience and endurance they went throught with all their clients and lives they had helped to make it better.

What can I say to these people who would go an extra mile to lend a helping hand.

Cheers and more cheers.

A Late Happy New Year

How a Happy New Year.

Not so happy for me. So many things going on for the start. I just do not wish to list them all out. Or I may sound like a complaining queen, which Im not. Anyway, its already mid of Jan 2007, and there are a few unsettled events in my life which need some sorting out. Mainly family affairs and maybe some work related. Career progressing. I try not to give myself any pressure. Let my mind do whatever I am comfortable with. So hopefully, I can still be in my comfort zone for awhile.

Due to all unforeseen circumstances, my blood pressure hit an high note a few days ago. After calming down a little, Im hit with this bug. Sneezing and blowing nose all the way. Not very impressive, to have taken two days of medical leave in one week. Dang!

What can I do? Rest more, drink more water, eat more fruits and vegs. Hear all. Done that. Still cannot fight against the bugs when they decided to invade your immune system. I need more exercises.

I need to rest... in peace. Cheers.

Happy Art Searching

While having that artyfart feeling lately, I wanna draw something. Went over to Dad's place and ransacked the storeroom to look for all my drawing materials. I also found some of my artwork which I had done during my days in the art college. Feeling very happy looking at them, I also done up one waterpaint on still life. Not that good but I like the colour. Shades of black and grey which are my favourite. This is waterpaint on cotton fiber sheet.

Lost My Voice

The trend has been going on at the workplace. People are losing their voices, in company with a sore throat. I was just waiting for my turn to get it. Flu and sore throat. These are the two that would hit me often when somebody close to me have it. So since I had taken the flu jab, its not so bad. For the sore throat, I just cannot control it. The bacteriea and the viruses in the air. Human body are getting weaker these days.

I had a slight sore throat on Sunday, followed by a slight fever in the evening. Then I ran out of Lorzenges. But I took the Panadol. Monday morning, I woke up with a sore throat, worsened. I dragged myself to work, thinking that I would feel better once I started my body engine going. Alas, I felt groggy when I reached there, so I headed to the clinic straight. I was already having fever. Damned. I was given one day medical leave, so I headed home to rest.

I did not sleep well last night. Turning and tossing and my throat was burning. It did not get better. I could not swallow or speak properly. I drank lots of water and sucked on the lorzenges. It did not helped any better. This morning, I went to my family physician. She gave me the antibiotics. Hopefully I would be better soon. Im feeling drowsy now. And Im going to sleep again.

CONFESSIONAL MEMOIR

Started on a new book, RUNNING WITH SCISSORS by AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS. It is a true story of a boy whose mother gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist. The doctor himself has a bizarre family and a neighbour who is a pedophile. His childhood was completed with challenging events that brought him through the search of his own identity and sexuality. So far, I find the book has a degree of dark humour. The story starts with the title of the first chapter, SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT, with the first line, MY MOTHER IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BATHROOM MIRROR SMELLING POLISHED AND READY... Read between lines for more comprehension. Whenever I read the book, somehow, my mind always flickers with images and similarities of people around me who might have been through this. I let my imagination runs wild. The writer has also other works and the latest is POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS. Chronologically, the writings evolve around his earlier books like DRY and MAGICAL THINKING until this.

Retreat Time

Many people would think that a retreat is boring. On the contrary, I just feel that its fun! Don't shoot me! We work like hell and so a retreat is a time that we share our experiences, happiness or unhappiness, ideas and wishes. Talk about team building and group work, I think my colleagues are a whole bunch who put effort to it and it shows that even we might be unhappy in some ways, we are also grateful in certain perspectives.

Human relationships are so important. A good listening ear and a supportive shoulder to lean on at times. Isn't it a way to make things work somehow? A few may not be able to tolerate in a certain degree. That's it! One would shout. Then think again, opportunities are all out there. If one way cannot be right, make that way to your advantage then. Twist and turn. Crash and burn. Alrighty, what am I saying here...

Anyways, I did not get to enjoy the early session of games. Yeah. Watersports and something adventurous. When was the last time I did that... Oh yeah... The paintball game! That was fun! I was really looking forward to some water games, the trust fall and some rock climbing... Too bad I was assigned to man the fort, so I joined my colleagues in the afternoon for lunch and followed by the main session of the retreat. We had skits and role-plays. Trying to put our concerns and some ideas across to our bosses. Hopefully to get some results in future.

Overall, it was fun. People are smart and sensitive. We are afterall, a whole bunch of lovely creatures who do care what you have got and what you would give! Treats or Tricks! What am I babbling again... Look forward to next year retreat. Am I the only person who enjoys this? Roll your eyes please!

Celebration Rantings !!!

The Blinking Lights

Chicken Rendang, Sambal Goreng and Serunding

Handmade Ketupat

Assorted handmade cookies

It has been a busy day. Although I only worked half-day and went back early, I helped out my mum-in-law and the maid to prepare the ingredients to cook the food for Hari Raya Puasa. Well, we managed to finish cooking by 11pm. Not too bad. The cookies were done at a much earlier date and they look so nice.

The house is also decorated with the blinking lights. Hub and I went to the bazaar at Geylang and bought those lights for $25. The place was so overwhelming. You got to be there to experience the crowds and the stuffs they sell. One visit for me is enough. Crowded places like this is not my cup of tea. I would not go unless Im there to buy something. Luckily I got the lights or else...

Honestly, I just want to get over and done with it. I do not know if there will be a lot of people visiting. Im not anti-social. My barrier is the language as I cannot speak proper Malay. Its very sad to say. Im really afraid that those relatives or friends start the conversation in Malay and Im always stuck with how to answer them. So for me, its better not to speak if you are not sure or do not understand much. But then, people may think Im unfriendly. So most of the time, I feel like Im smiling like an idiot. Anyways, enough of ranting... seems like going out of the topic here.

I miss my late father-in-law. Its going to be one year since the day he passed on. Im expecting sad moment when we are going to ask for forgiveness from my mum-in-law the next morning. I will never forget his wise and always right advice. A great man to remember. And I always respect him in my heart. What can I do... just got to go through it every year.

Miss my sister-in-law too. As she is expecting and experiencing morning sickness, Im just wondering how she is coping at Australia everyday. Well, she has a big guy to stand by her and make sure he takes care of her well. So, sis, if you are reading this, Im looking forward to meet you again, with your baby and big guy...

ALMOST

The fasting month is coming to an end. Tomorrow will be the last day of fasting. So far, I missed two days of fast because I was having terrible migraines in mid-day and I just gotta pop that pill. Hopefully, I can still hold on till the last day of Ramadhan. I need to remember to 'pay back' the two days that I have missed. Being a Chinese Muslim, Im not into the mood of what the Malay Muslims are here, celebrating the new month of Shawal. Many people, especially the non-muslims think that it is a new year celebration. Not true, the new Islamic year is not Shawal but Muharram. So people celebrate the first of Shawal because it signifies the break of fasting month, Ramadhan. Although its been six years, Im still not used to the Malay cultures. Im not really interested, honestly. But what other choices do I have since my husband is a Malay Muslim and I have to learn the ropes from my mother-in-law. Well, she has been very patient and nice to me. But I can feel that she seems to worry about me too. Most of the time, I will go with the flow, like monkey sees, monkey does. And I do asked whats and whys. The rationale cannot seems to etch onto my head. I would like to visit the Chinese Muslims in China. I know there are plenty of them there. I have watched the documentaries about them and still prefer the Chinese Muslim cultures. They are way too simple and easy to follow. Anyway, Im not complaining. Be it Chinese, Malay, Indian or any other races of Muslims, we have only one thing in common which is our love and faith in Islam. Other things are just minor. Our strength and to uphold the rights and stands of all Muslim beliefs should be taken. And most of all, I want to tell the world that we are not even close to terrorism.