CONFESSIONAL MEMOIR

Started on a new book, RUNNING WITH SCISSORS by AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS. It is a true story of a boy whose mother gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist. The doctor himself has a bizarre family and a neighbour who is a pedophile. His childhood was completed with challenging events that brought him through the search of his own identity and sexuality. So far, I find the book has a degree of dark humour. The story starts with the title of the first chapter, SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT, with the first line, MY MOTHER IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BATHROOM MIRROR SMELLING POLISHED AND READY... Read between lines for more comprehension. Whenever I read the book, somehow, my mind always flickers with images and similarities of people around me who might have been through this. I let my imagination runs wild. The writer has also other works and the latest is POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS. Chronologically, the writings evolve around his earlier books like DRY and MAGICAL THINKING until this.

Retreat Time

Many people would think that a retreat is boring. On the contrary, I just feel that its fun! Don't shoot me! We work like hell and so a retreat is a time that we share our experiences, happiness or unhappiness, ideas and wishes. Talk about team building and group work, I think my colleagues are a whole bunch who put effort to it and it shows that even we might be unhappy in some ways, we are also grateful in certain perspectives.

Human relationships are so important. A good listening ear and a supportive shoulder to lean on at times. Isn't it a way to make things work somehow? A few may not be able to tolerate in a certain degree. That's it! One would shout. Then think again, opportunities are all out there. If one way cannot be right, make that way to your advantage then. Twist and turn. Crash and burn. Alrighty, what am I saying here...

Anyways, I did not get to enjoy the early session of games. Yeah. Watersports and something adventurous. When was the last time I did that... Oh yeah... The paintball game! That was fun! I was really looking forward to some water games, the trust fall and some rock climbing... Too bad I was assigned to man the fort, so I joined my colleagues in the afternoon for lunch and followed by the main session of the retreat. We had skits and role-plays. Trying to put our concerns and some ideas across to our bosses. Hopefully to get some results in future.

Overall, it was fun. People are smart and sensitive. We are afterall, a whole bunch of lovely creatures who do care what you have got and what you would give! Treats or Tricks! What am I babbling again... Look forward to next year retreat. Am I the only person who enjoys this? Roll your eyes please!

Celebration Rantings !!!

The Blinking Lights

Chicken Rendang, Sambal Goreng and Serunding

Handmade Ketupat

Assorted handmade cookies

It has been a busy day. Although I only worked half-day and went back early, I helped out my mum-in-law and the maid to prepare the ingredients to cook the food for Hari Raya Puasa. Well, we managed to finish cooking by 11pm. Not too bad. The cookies were done at a much earlier date and they look so nice.

The house is also decorated with the blinking lights. Hub and I went to the bazaar at Geylang and bought those lights for $25. The place was so overwhelming. You got to be there to experience the crowds and the stuffs they sell. One visit for me is enough. Crowded places like this is not my cup of tea. I would not go unless Im there to buy something. Luckily I got the lights or else...

Honestly, I just want to get over and done with it. I do not know if there will be a lot of people visiting. Im not anti-social. My barrier is the language as I cannot speak proper Malay. Its very sad to say. Im really afraid that those relatives or friends start the conversation in Malay and Im always stuck with how to answer them. So for me, its better not to speak if you are not sure or do not understand much. But then, people may think Im unfriendly. So most of the time, I feel like Im smiling like an idiot. Anyways, enough of ranting... seems like going out of the topic here.

I miss my late father-in-law. Its going to be one year since the day he passed on. Im expecting sad moment when we are going to ask for forgiveness from my mum-in-law the next morning. I will never forget his wise and always right advice. A great man to remember. And I always respect him in my heart. What can I do... just got to go through it every year.

Miss my sister-in-law too. As she is expecting and experiencing morning sickness, Im just wondering how she is coping at Australia everyday. Well, she has a big guy to stand by her and make sure he takes care of her well. So, sis, if you are reading this, Im looking forward to meet you again, with your baby and big guy...

ALMOST

The fasting month is coming to an end. Tomorrow will be the last day of fasting. So far, I missed two days of fast because I was having terrible migraines in mid-day and I just gotta pop that pill. Hopefully, I can still hold on till the last day of Ramadhan. I need to remember to 'pay back' the two days that I have missed. Being a Chinese Muslim, Im not into the mood of what the Malay Muslims are here, celebrating the new month of Shawal. Many people, especially the non-muslims think that it is a new year celebration. Not true, the new Islamic year is not Shawal but Muharram. So people celebrate the first of Shawal because it signifies the break of fasting month, Ramadhan. Although its been six years, Im still not used to the Malay cultures. Im not really interested, honestly. But what other choices do I have since my husband is a Malay Muslim and I have to learn the ropes from my mother-in-law. Well, she has been very patient and nice to me. But I can feel that she seems to worry about me too. Most of the time, I will go with the flow, like monkey sees, monkey does. And I do asked whats and whys. The rationale cannot seems to etch onto my head. I would like to visit the Chinese Muslims in China. I know there are plenty of them there. I have watched the documentaries about them and still prefer the Chinese Muslim cultures. They are way too simple and easy to follow. Anyway, Im not complaining. Be it Chinese, Malay, Indian or any other races of Muslims, we have only one thing in common which is our love and faith in Islam. Other things are just minor. Our strength and to uphold the rights and stands of all Muslim beliefs should be taken. And most of all, I want to tell the world that we are not even close to terrorism.

Read About It !!!

My sister-in-law is pregnant! Oh yeah! Im happy for her and my mother-in-law too because she is now promoted to granny status. Maybe I should not be too overwhelmed by this piece of news. The old folks always say that its not good to make big announcement when a woman is at the early stage of pregnancy. I do not know how it really works. Most of my friends who were pregnant before, they did wait till they were at their third or forth month to announce to friends and relatives. Superstitious? Anyway, she is now far away from us, staying in Australia. So I just pray that she could cope well with her pregnancy. I would pity her in terms of food craving, my poor sis might not be able to get what she wants over at Australia. So my mother-in-law just send her a big box of dried food, spicies, whatever she asked for that and hopefully the stuff could pass through the custom. Well, Australia is very strict about sending or bringing food into the country. I would just wait for more news to come. And pray to God that she will be in good spirit and health!

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

Its been awhile since I updated. I have been busy reading. Frequent the library very often nowsaday. Suddenly I realised that there are so many good books lying around. Im reading one book now titled, THE MEMORY KEEPER'S DAUGHTER by KIM EDWARDS.

The stunning story happened in 1964, a cold winter night. A doctor delivered his pair of twins. His first born boy was perfectly healthy, but what struck him is his second born daughter which has Down's Syndrome. He made one decision that could change and haunt all their lives forever. He told his nurse to bring the baby away to an institution. Unexpectedly, she did not but moved away to another town to raise the child as her own.

Theres a secret of the doctor's childhood that explained his split-second decision of sending his daughter away. The painful memories of the past and the difficult circumstances of the present brought him to a stage which he was almost destroyed. Tormented and seeking solace through the lens of his camera of how he sees life would be.

A powerful combination of love and regret, truth and lies, and their redemptions. A story that is heart-breaking and heart-healing at the same time. Well, read it if you can. So Im going back to the last pages of the book. And hopefully I can start another title soon.