Another One That I Will Miss

My-ex boss, Mrs Palakrishnan

Yesterday was my boss's farewell party. Hmmm... Now should be ex-boss. I could not make it there as I have some family matters to attend. I thought I would never see her again since her last day at work was 27th Dec 07. Luckily she came back to the office in the evening and I talked to her for a short while. She was busy and many of my colleagues would love to get her attention as well. I asked for a tight hug and it was granted. She always gives me a motherly feeling and the way she speaks is so gentle. The first hug she gave me was at Granny's wake. I broke down immediately. This time I controlled my tears 'cos I also did not want to ruin her make-up as I saw her eyes were already getting teary. Well, Im sure she had loads of tears flowing that evening. I wish her all the best and be in pink of health in years to come. I will miss you, Mrs Palakrishnan.

The One That I Miss

DO YOU KNOW WHO?

Its my beloved granny who passed on in Oct 07. It should be on 28 Oct 2007, 1.20pm to be exact, at Tan Tock Seng Hospital in the ICU ward. She died of a massive heart attack due to old age. She was 86 years old.

The last time I saw her alive and kicking was a week before she passed away. I was playing a fool with her as she was demented. I remembered I even trimmed her finger nails for her. She would always remind not to trim too short for her pinky nails 'cos it would symbolise good wealth if the nail is long. She behaved just like a child around me. And she could get along with children very well like my nephew and niece as well as adults who are funny and clowny like my hubby. She hated confinement. She hated when she was bored. That would be the time she started to get grumpy and scolding people for no reasons. That was why I sent her to SWAMI Dementia Day Centre about twice to thrice a week. She was happy there and she hoped she could stay there. Of course I could not afford to do that!


I know she died a happy woman. She never groaned while she was in the bed. She was already in a state of coma when the doctors told my family to prepare for the worst which could be anytime. There was no point of her to go under the knife to save her as the doctors said that it would definitely cost her life immediately. It would be better to keep the body intact. And let her go peacefully. I broke down when I went into the Operating Theatre. I saw her face with the respiratory tube insert into her mouth to help her to breathe. She was petite and her small body curled up sideway as she was shivering 'cos the theatre was so cold. I just could not help not stopping my tears from coming down. I knew that I would be losing her anytime soon.


My family rushed to and from the hospital a couple of times within 24 hours. We thought that her condition was stablised but it did not seemed so. So while my aunt and sister were there, she passed away. My dad, brother, his girlfriend, hubby and I were on the way after the nurse called us and informed that she really would not be able to make it that last time. When we got there, she was already gone and we were a few minutes late. I weeped. All of us weeped. I informed some relatives and my colleagues. I was too tired to relate more 'cos I had more important things to settle. And Im still grateful to my colleague, Tzer Wee who helped to recommend a very nice funeral services provider.

Granny's Wake

Me at Granny's Wake

Funeral Ritual for Granny

It was simple and a funeral that was within my family's budget. Afterall how grand do we have to make it to be for a funeral? We should show our concern, love and respect when one is alive, not when the person is dead. What is the point of trying to show off when the most important thing for the dead is to say prayers. And this should be continue even after the funeral, everyday, everytime and not just for an occasion.


Oh Granny, I really miss you very much. I am still grieving although I have to be strong. And I really want you to be happy!

A Long Time And A Motivating Post !!!

I almost forgot about this blog. No one bugs me to update. I guess my friends have given up on me in a way 'cos they know Im have been super-duper busy. Whenever I read my friends' blog in blogspot, I know I have this here which I have been procastinating to update. Dont ask me why. I have so many reasons to tell you. Not excuses! They are reasons! See the difference!

Firstly, I am happy to have get my studies started. Although it was just a simple certification for basic counselling, I am glad to have completed it at 3 months' time. And leading to the next will be my diploma in counselling. That will be my year 2008 main mission, or rather resolution. I have to find myself some inspiration and motivation to complete this course. I did not ask my company to sponsor me this time. I am not sure if I can get it anyway and I do not want to waste my time waiting for company's decision. I have no time to wait as the closing date for January 2008 intake was in October 2007. It is a year diploma course which then lead to a degree. Seriously I will want to have my paperchase done and get over with. And it is true that with a good and higher qualification, at some point of your life, it is an essential part to make certain decision. Although we say that experience proves to be even better, how about experiences that come together with papers? It is more secure. Definitely. So I need to find motivational people to hang out with! Hahahhahah... I know there are many of them in my company. And since a few of my classmates are also taking up the diploma course, they are even happier to have study buddies, with someone we are familiar, things can work out better! And keep ourselves intact and MOTIVATED !!!

Anyway, I will try, alright, to keep this blog update. There are still many things to be mentioned. Certain part of my life changed. With someone gone forever, and I missed her like crazy. Right, grieving is a matter of time to take to slowly be resolved. I will tell more in the next blog. Maybe later!