The Feeling of Being Knocked Out

28th August was D-day! I arrived at the Day Surgery Centre at 9.30am though my appointment is at 10am. Early is always better in this case and I am glad that I did cos' there were so many people waiting. So I went into the waiting area after I got myself changed to the robes and slippers. I wish I could take some pictures but I left my stuff and handphone all in the locker and handphones are not allowed unless it is for emergency. At about 10.45am, I was told to lie on the trolley bed and was pushed into the surgery. I was put on drip and the anesthesiologist came and asked me a few questions. He decided to put me on general anaesthesia although the doctor mentioned to me that I would be on local anaesthesia. Anyhow, I thought it would be better. So soon, I was put on the mask and some injections and I was totally knocked out before I even realised what had happened. Suddenly, I heard someone shouting at me saying that the operation was over. It was funny when the question I asked was if I snored! As I have sleep apnea, I tend to snore when I am not on CPAP machine. Then I heard someone telling me that I did not. I thought that was a bit weird to pop that question instead of asking about my surgery. But thereafter, I fell into sleep again. When I woke up again, being more alert, I saw the time was already 2.30pm. The first thing I wanted to do was to call Aileen who planned to accompany me home. The doctor came to review me and everything seemed well. I could feel the pain at the site and very uncomfortable. Nevertheless, it was still bearable for me. I was served with milo and some biscuits since I had not eaten the whole time since last night. After contacting Aileen, I spent another two hours dozing while waiting for Aileen and the nurse to review me again.

Flowers from Aileen

So at about 4pm, Aileen helped me to collect the medicine and I was out of the surgery centre only at about 5 pm plus. It was really nice of Aileen to buy me some flowers. And I am very appreciative of her kindness to help me. Here I am typing this, I just woke up from that drowsiness and I could still feel it. The pain is still around. I am going back to sleep again... Really tiring!

Facial at SK-II Boutique

Hmmm... My virgin facial treatment at SK-II Boutique. Never in my life have I done a facial treatment and all I can say is that it is really an interesting experience. I stumbled the promotion while I was checking out the so-called miracle facial treatment essence on the internet. I have been contemplating to try the essence for donkey months since the product came around. I wanted to buy and try but it is pretty expensive so I held back again. So there is a promotion of $50 discount for its facial treatment if registration is done online and there is also another 10% discount on the products. Well, since I have been tremendous stress from left, right, center, top and bottom, I decided to give myself a treat. Yeah. I should have done it long ago. The therapist is very skilful and friendly so I decided to come back next month to do another one, a different set of facial treatment. I guess I really need to give myself some pampering, so long it works within my budget. And yes! I got myself a small bottle of the essence and they gave me another two miniture samples of cleanser and toner.

I have to make myself look more radiant, not prettier but at least people will not comment that I am deprived of sleep and I look terrible all the time!

By the way, Dad has been discharged on Saturday. It was a long wait for him as my brother had gone to the hospital to fetch. They waited for a long long time for the doctor's clearance and finally, they let my Dad go after his dinner. Yeah. My Dad was grumbling but at least glad to be out of the hospital. He would be going back for outpatient follow-up and monitor his INR since he is on Wafarin. He has some stones in his gallbladder and once his INR is stable, he would be doing the operation in a month's time. He really hoped to get it all done and over with.

Hubby in Suit and Tie

I like this picture that hubby sent me. Hardly get to see him in suit and tie. I remember that last time I saw him wore one was during one convention a few years ago. Now at his new workplace, he has even more conventions to attend. So dressing up like that is usual for him. Well, we were thinking whether to invest getting a few more sets of suit. Its not very cheap. The last time we saw one nice set was at Marks and Spencers which costs about $700. I think it would be cheaper to make to measure... at JB! Hubby said that its just a waste of money... I think so too... Well, if you are going to rub shoulders with many big-shots, I guess its still inevitable!

Dad is Admitted !!

Poor Dad. Pain at the abdomen started on Monday and he beared with it. He could not take it anymore and went to see the family doctor. In the night, the pain persisted and my brother sent him to the ED. Stubbornly, he refused to admit when the doctor told him that he required further investigation and admission would be a better choice than outpatient follow-up. So he was discharged home at his own risk. The doctor gave him a checklist and a letter so that he could return to ED if the pain never subside. So things did not go the way Dad expected. He went back to ED and got admitted. The doctor told him that he would be going through some scans and await for Endoscopy if necessary. Dad was really worried and afraid of going through tests and tests. He was a stroke patient some years back and he did not like the way he was being treated in the hospital as he felt like an experimental object. Nevertheless, I explained to him the importance of going through all those investigations for the sake of his well-being. Hmmm... See how it goes. Our family hoped that he would be safe and fine.

Dad at TTSH Ward 11

Brother and I were trying to make him relax by snapping some pics. I only posted one up here. I thought I was being sadistic. But hey, take it easy, wont we? There is nothing much we can do cos' feeling worried and sad cannot solve anything. Just relax and let Him decide.

Another funny thing, the staff actually thought my Dad is Malay cos' they saw me, wearing the tudung! They got confused when they saw my brother and asked how we are related! Really funny for us to try to explain...

Its Aint Over Till Its Over

Hahahahahaa... I am letting out a sigh of relief thinking about my groupwork facilitation exercise. At last, I am done with the presentation and now I need to spend some time doing up the essay to be submitted together. I was so nervous and anxious about this whole thing that I felt the stress hitting me high time. No one might notice but my heart jumped really fast the past weeks whenever I thought about this groupwork thing. Well, the lecturer told the class that we should not go too deep into psycoeducation or therapeutic groupwork due to our lack of knowledge and skills. So we are allowed to present scenerios like meetings, discussions, cooking demonstrations, etc. I feel that these are not really what the real groupwork do. As far as we understand, groupwork involves facilitation of support groups, psychoeducation, group therapy, etc. But then, we are also doing groupwork but content is just different from what counsellors or social workers would do. Nevertheless, it was a fun presentation. Not that I expected because my partner and I were too nervous and we decided to make the whole thing light-hearted so that we could relax a little. Many of our classmates did not think that we were that nervous and all of us had a great time. I am glad that the lecturer thought we did a great job! YAY!!!

Some snaps to share...

This is Gaik Suan, our lecturer.

Me and Jeannie presented the slides.

Jeannie and I demonstrated salad making.

That is Billy and his orange, sharing with us about goodness of this fruit.

All group members were helping themselves with the fruits and salads.

By the way, our group objective was to promote healthy eating lifestyle. So we presented slides with ways of healthy eating and reasons to why healthy eating habits are important. Hmmm... I think I really got to be serious about what I had shared with my classmates too!!!

Very Stress !!!

I am very stressed. I feel that I can break down anytime from down. I have so many things in my head and everything is all so important. Starting on Monday, 18/8/08, my working place is having an international audit and this event is going to last for the whole week. I am feeling very uptight becasue I do not know if I will be called upon for interview. I have no idea. I thought I can just cross my fingers but I have another thing that is my group work facilitation exercise on Monday as well and I have no confident about presenting it. I am not sure if I can do it properly with my classmate. I think I maybe able to perform as the sole facilitator with a small group of people not more than five instead with a bigger group and with another co-facilitator. This whole thing is giving me cold feet. I cannot wait till it is all over and I can fully concentrate to do my other assignments. I think I am not meant to be a group facilitator. I cannot lead but I play a better team mate. Too bad, my classmate who is partnering with me does not feel that she is up to it either and she kind of 'leave everything to me' and she only wants to concentrate on her demonstration. Be it, I hope I can do it as it flows and I can learn a valuable lesson from there.

Happy Shopping on National Day

Today is our National Day. Hubby is back from KL and we went out shopping for some of his working clothes. Both of us are BIG fans of Marks & Spencers. The reason is obvious. We are big in size and their stores carry our sizes. And they have good quality clothes and now, they also offer quite affordable prices. We do not shop there every month. But at least 3 months once... Well, there is also Marks & Spencers at KLCC and the cost is cheaper by a few dollars after convertion. Hubby said that he prefers to shop with me than shop alone. So there we went, to the stores at Paragon and Centrepoint. He got what he wanted. A pair of black twin pleated pants and 5 pieces of long-sleeves shirts. Oh... The stores are having N-day celebrations so there was a 20% discount till 11 Aug 08! Hmmm... I did not get anything for myself so I decided to buy them as gifts for hubby. And I did not pay a lot... for so many tops and a bottom, all costed less than $200! ^_^ I feel that it is really worth it! Too bad, there is nothing really fantastic for me or not, I might have gone beyond budget.

Anyway, it was a good shopping trip. Hubby does not like to shop unless he has things in mind to buy. So we were both glad to have spend time together, shopping! He is going back to KL again the next day... I am going to start missing him soon!

Another Long Time Missing

I am not focused here. So many things are happening around me that I am giving up prioritising. Since May till now, my medical condition seems quite well. The virus is still there for sure. I just had another check today at the hospital. The professor confirmed that I cannot do away with the laser treatment. I uncrossed my fingers. I believe I have to be tested this way and I accepted Him for giving me a chance to see things in a different manner, through this procedure, through this tough journey that I am going through. Yes, the date has been set on 28th August 2008. I crossed my fingers again.

Hubby has left for KL. It was another tremendous effect on my emotion. Although I seem so fine, I am not really that fine. I HATE THIS FEELING coming back to me again. It happened 10 years ago when he left for Australia to study, for four years. This time he is leaving me again to work, for I-dont-know-how-long! He thinks it is a good opportunity to venture out. Yes, I support him. But emotionally, no one is supporting me. Both of us know that feeling of separation. It is really terrible. Absence can make a heart grows fonder. I think we are so over that phrase now! When he is not around, I miss a person who can cheer me up. When he is not around, I cannot remind him not to smoke so much. When he is not around, he cannot remind me to massage his legs. When he is not around, I would not be able to hear his silly jokes and watch his silly gestures which make my day. Things are just different when he is not around. Lesser chance of communication. Technology is just not real enough. I am just worried that our bond will be losing its stand as he gets busier each day... And in order for me not to think too hard or too much, I make myself even busier all day. I guess its not healthy. But I believe it is not going to be this way for too long. I want to finish my studies so that I can move over to KL then. I only can remember this now. We promised to be strong. We will be able to go through this together, again.

Dear hubby, I will always be here for you. And you will have to wait for me! Me love you as always...